From the Celtic History Newsletter:

Last month I said I was going to continue my discussion of Celtic crosses, but with summer here and the Highland games / Renaissance fair / reenactment season here I thought it would be a good time write something lighter and to share a few tips for people who are trying to wear a kilt for the first time. Back to the crosses next month.

Andrew MacGregor?s Tips for New Kilt Wearers...

New to wearing a kilt? Start watching women in short skirts (-well more than you already do...) to study how they move while sitting down to avoid exposing themselves. You can learn some tips by following their example. That sweep of the hands underneath you as you sit can not only prevent embarassment, but protect you from surprises like cold/hot surfaces not to mention splinters.

Planning on buying/wearing a great kilt/belted plaid? Don't listen to the people who try to tell you that you need 9 yards of 60' wide material. All you need is 4-6 yards depending on your size and the pattern of the tartan. The idea of 9 yards comes from a misconception because the cloth for a belted plaid was only around 25' wide, depending on the size of the loom that was used to weave it. A 9 yard length of cloth was cut in half, and then the selvedge (long) edges were stitched together, resulting in a piece fabric only about four and a half yards long and 50 (or so) inches wide. See this article by Matthew A. C. Newsome (Member of the International Guild of Tartan Scholars, curator of the Scottish Tartans Museum) for more discussion of the matter. For the people that tell you that the phrase "The whole nine yards" refers to the belted plaid see this article for all the other supposed explanations of that phrase.

A site with step-by-step pictures of pleating a great kilt.

Chafing. Yes, there is a certain esprit de corps about being regimental, but on a hot, humid day even us skinny guys can suffer. So if you are out on a hot/humid day you are NOT any less manly a Scot if you save yourself some pain by wearing some bike shorts, or boxers. Briefs can help, but they don't prevent your inner thighs from rubbing. Another option is a little anti-perspirant where your thighs rub together to minimize irritation later in the day.

If your sporran is full/heavy and you need to run or move quickly, move it off-center so it doesn't bounce against delicate parts.

If you are going to wear a sword, especially with a great kilt/belted plaid, use a baldrick that goes over your shoulder rather than belting the scabbard at your waist. If you are spending the day at a Renaissance fair or historical reenactment, the combined weight of your plaid, sporran, sword and any other accoutrement all hanging from a belt at your waist can become very uncomfortable on your hips after a couple hours.

Moms, please don't put your young boys into a full-sized great kilt/belted plaid. It can take a while to get used to wearing a great kilt, even for an adult. So if you want your son to enjoy participating in your hobby, or celebrating your heritage, make sure he is as comfortable as possible -let him wear a cut-down plaid made from a generic tartan as a great kilt that fits his size. Once he grows out of it you can use your "son's first kilt" as an arasaid, or shawl. Or he can use it as a "fly plaid" pinned to his shoulder.

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The Celtic Croft & MacGregor Historic Games

The Brobdingnagian Bards host a Great article "On the Dignity of How to Wear Kilts". And if you like Scottish music, check out the Brobdingnagian Bards new CD, Real Men Wear Kilts, as well as their free bumper stickers that read "Real Men Wear Kilts", Marc Gunn's solo CD Soul of a Harper, and find lots of great Celtic music with The Secret World of Celtic Rock.

I am loving the studio right now. Andrew and I had SUCH a productive day working on "Ye Jacobites By Name". He also sent me a mix of the Robert Burns song, "Green Grow the Rashes". It is from our upcoming CD, Real Men Wear Kilts.

Hope ye like!

Listen: "Green Grow the Rashes"

Green Grow the Rashes Lyrics
by Robert Burns

There's nought but care on ev'ry han',
In ev'ry hour that passes, O;
What signifies the life o' man,
An' 'twere na for the lasses, O.

Green grow the rashes, O;
Green grow the rashes, O;
The sweetest hours that e'er I spend,
Are spent amang the lasses, O.

The warly race may riches chase,
An' riches still may fly them, O;
An' tho' at last they catch them fast,
Their hearts can ne'er enjoy them, O.

But gie me a canny hour at e'en,
My arms about my Dearie, O;
An' warly cares an' warly men,
May a' gae tapsalteerie, O!

For you sae douse, ye sneer at this,
Ye're nought but senseless asses, O;
The wisest Man the warl' e'er saw,
He dearly lov'd the lasses, O.

Auld Nature swears, the lovely Dears
Her noblest work she classes, O;
Her prentice han' she try'd on man,
An' then she made the lasses, O.

A few Scots translations: warly: worldly, canny: quiet, tapsalteerie: topsy-turvy, douce: respectable

The latest CD from the Brobdingnagian Bards, Real Men Wear Kilts, is four or five years in the making. I forget. It's been a LONG time. I remember how it started too.

We were in Salado playing an evening party for Clan Gunn when our friend Royce implanted the idea that we should do a Scottish CD. Well, we had just finish Songs of Ireland, and I was already thinking about it too. I'm Scotch-Irish but never really embraced my Irish half until recently. To me, I was all Scottish! I've long wanted to record more Scottish songs, but somehow fate intervened and most of the music I learned was Irish. Who am I to go against fate?

That didn't stop this idea. We didn't know many Scottish songs back then. But I had quite a few I wanted to learn. So we started learning them.

Shortly after that I designed some free Real Men Wear Kilts stickers to giveaway. Then my friend Jen Clower-Brown redesigned them to the current style.

Time passed and still we hadn't touched this CD idea. Finally in January of 2007, something clicked inside us. We learned and accepted something about us as a band.

You see the Brobdingnagian Bards are not a typical Celtic music group. I love keeping traditional songs alive, but as a group we, well, we have fun with the music. We play around with the lyrics pronunciations. I can't begin to tell you how many people have emailed and said, "It's TROOSERS, not TROUSERS!" Other Scots laughed when I sang "Loch Lomond" with an Irish accent a few years back.

Well, we don't accents nearly as much as we did, but when you're an American singing songs written in the Scots dialect, you have to make a few decisions. Do you rewrite songs? Do you use them as is?

For us, nothing is sacred we do what we do without apology... with one caveat. We want you to know what to expect. If you're expecting some contemporary Celtic sound from Scottish musicians, listen to Ed Miller. He's outstanding. If you're expecting us to not screw up the Scottish dialect, think again.

All in all, I think Andrew said it best, "We're not Scottish. So we're crap!"

That said, here are some of the songs you can expect to hear on our eleventh album, Real Men Wear Kilts:

1. Loch Lomond
2. Follow Prince Charlie
   
3. My Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose
   
4. Ye Jacobites By Name
   
5. Bonnie Jean
   
6. Donald, Where's Your Drunken Scotsman?
   
7. Flower of Scotland
8. Jock Stuart (A Man Who Wears A Kilt Every Day)
   
9. Mary Mac
   
10. Skye Boat Song
    
11. Auld Lang Syne
12. Seven Drunken Nights
    
13. Oor Hamlet
14. Green Grow the Rashes
    
15. Garry Owen Set

Yes. There are more songs, but I don't know all of them yet.